On the Couch: They look sweet upon the seat
by Louise Rafkin, Special to The Chronicle
Sunday, August 23, 2009
“Jenny thought I was an idiot,” says Shawn Hatfield, 36, when asked about his first meeting with his fiancee, Jenny Oh, 35. Jenny, an associate TV producer at Quest (a division of KQED), has been held up in traffic on her way to the couple’s West Oakland loft. As committed cyclists, these two usually travel by bicycle. A fleet of eight bikes lines the entry of their home.
It was in 2006, when Shawn, a mastering engineer with his own business, Audible Oddities, began organizing fixed-gear (one-speed) group rides. Jenny, recently transplanted from New York City, showed up with a friend. Her pal accidentally bumped Shawn’s bike. It wasn’t just any old bike – it was a custom Japanese model worth as much as a used car. Shawn barked.
“Yes,” agrees Jenny, now breezing in from work. “Shawn made quite a bad first impression.”
But the two kept pace together on the ride, and over the next year during rides both long and short, their friendship was cemented with sweat and post-ride beers. As they became best friends, they talked about everything, including their respective dating lives. Then one day Jenny had a dream in which she was smooching with Shawn. Odd, she thought and told a friend. “Eeewweee,” she was told, “you two are like brother and sister!”
Yet Shawn was secretly having similar thoughts about Jenny. “On one hand, we had the potential to realize something truly great,” he says, “but on the other I didn’t want to risk rejection, subsequent awkwardness and possibly the loss of a best friend.” But two years after their first meeting, with Shawn about to go out with another bike chick, Jenny made a move with an instant message. And here’s the thread:
Jenny: A number of things have happened recently that have made me think about a person in a different light …
Shawn: That’s cool
Jenny: In a romantic way, and I’m just not sure whether to say something
Shawn: That’s a tough one; I would pursue it, if it feels good. I’m all for experiences that are driven by the heart
Jenny: Yeah – I’m just worried about rejection, or awkwardness
Shawn: I say go for it
Jenny: Easier said than done
Shawn: Do I know this person? Does he ride bikes?
Jenny: What if I was to say that it’s you?
Jenny: *embarrassed silence*
Shawn: Is it me?
Jenny: ummm….yeah
Shawn: strange you would say that
Jenny: Now I feel totally embarrassed
Shawn: I have been feeling the same and haven’t figured out what to do about it
Shawn canceled his date and the two met – with a bottle of whiskey. “We were so nervous!” Jenny says. They’ve hardly been apart since. In October, their wedding at the Marin Headlands will be attended by more than 100 cyclists who will, along with the bride and groom, ride to the big event.
On falling in love with your best friend:
Jenny: “A strong foundation had been established, but I didn’t know how romantic Shawn could be.”
Shawn: “In the past I’ve hoped that chemistry would block out all the other problems; we already knew we liked each other.”